Posts filed under 'Living With Gender Issues'
How do you know when a relationship is over? Sometimes it’s obvious. If he tells you he doesn’t want to see you anymore, then it’s over. If you come home one day and all her stuff is gone, and she left a note saying she’s leaving you, then it’s over. But sometimes it’s over, but like a zombie, the corpse of your relationship is still walking around. And maybe you’re hopeful that something of your relationship still lives. Be realistic. Most of the time, dead relationships can’t be resurrected. Here are some signs that it’s over.
Rate your relationship on a scale from 1 to 10. If it’s rated below a 5, then it’s definitely over. If you rated it a 5, then it’s probably over, but maybe there’s something you can do. If you’ve rated it above a 6, then maybe it’s not over yet, but you should still check for other signs that the relationship is over.
Ask yourself, honestly, how you think your partner in the relationship would rank your relationship on a scale from 1 to 10. Be brutal. Then look at the scale above. If your partner probably thinks your relationship is rated at a 4 or below, forget it. It’s over. Only if you honestly think your partner would rate your relationship 5+ can you have any hope that your relationship is not over.
Ask yourself some of the hard questions. For example, if Jesus told you that it was okay to leave this relationship, what would you do? How much do you really like your partner? Are you at all sexually attracted to your partner? How much fun do you have with your partner? Do you and your partner have relationship goals and activities that matter?
Sometimes it’s hard to admit to yourself that your relationship is over. Breaking up really is hard to do. It sounds trite, but try to take a glass half full approach to the end of your relationship. Ending one relationship is often a prerequisite to beginning another relationship. And if you’ve learned anything from the relationship you’re currently in, then your next relationship will benefit from that. Sometimes you should just be grateful for the time together and the experiences you’ve had with your partner, even when it’s time to move on.
Breakups don’t have to be about rancor and ill feelings. You can let someone know how much you appreciated and enjoyed the time you spent together. Depending on their level of spiritual and emotional maturity, that might or might not cushion the blow. At any rate, behave in a way that will maintain your sense of self-respect.
And if it’s not over, then the most important thing to remember about your relationship is to be kind and to enjoy it. It’s the journey that matters, not the destination.
December 1st, 2009
Here are 10 personal little home spa tips that will make you
look and feel like a million bucks! Squeeze in a few extra
minutes to your every day self care time and you’ll see how
easily these step by step pampering recommendations will turn
even the toughest days around. Or if you can negotiate a few
minutes here and there from your day to get even more time…by
all means… do it! Your family, friends and co-workers will meet
a much happier, more chipper, fantastically refreshed you! In
Preparation: First things, first. No shopping, buying or leaving
the house. Scour the house for a few fun spa essentials and make
a decadent ‘Home Spa Day’ just with what you have tucked away!
Why put off what you could be doing right now?! I suppose if you
are out and about and feel so inclined to pick up special bath
salts, moisturizers or essential oils… so be it. I admire your
level of commitment! Grab your robe and slippers
Find a soothing CD that you absolutely love
Scented candle A washcloth, loofah, bath brush
or a new scrubbie back there in the drawers you forgot about
Fluffy cotton towel Bath salts or essential
aromatic oils (if you have them) Your cleansers, toners
and moisturizers Coarse sea salt Plenty of
chilled spring water (with a splash of lime or lemon) in the
fanciest glass you can find Steep a cup of green tea Let
go of your day… your obligations… responsibilities… stress… and
strain. Toss out the barrage of thoughts streaming through your
mind (even if it’s just for a moment). Trust me… they’ll still
be around later for you to poke at, ponder or peruse. Try to
relax. Take yourself on a far away vacation in your head, tell
yourself a “Once Upon A Time” story, remind yourself what a
princess you are and remember how essential these precious
moments are to your happiness and sanity! Welcome To Your At
Home Spa Vacation! 1.Take it easy and slow down your breath,
your thoughts and your movements. Put on your favorite CD and
start prepping a very simple shower or bath in a wonderfully
slow, deliberate and unhurried way. Take time to watch the
candle burn, smell the fragrance, feel the soft robe or towels,
look at the sparkling drops of water and run your hands through
it… take in the joyful process of an every day activity that we
just fly through without a second thought!
2.Use essential oils. Not only do they smell great, but they are
extremely good for your skin. The rule to applying essential
oils is to never apply them directly on your face or skin. Just
add about five drops to a bowl of warm water. Soak a washcloth
in the water and then apply to your face and neck as a compress
for five minutes. Repeat three times. Gently towel dry and
finish yourself off with an anti-oxidant, anti-inflammatory
facial splash. If you have a choice of essential oils to choose
from, select one that suits your mood and purpose. If you are
desparking the stress level this holiday, choose soothing oils
(like lavender, chamomile, jasmine, sandalwood and ylang-ylang).
Good revitalizing and energizing oils when you need them are
peppermint, eucalyptus, rosemary, basil and juniper. The aroma
can also provide psychological and physical benefits too!
Essential oils can help with physical conditions, rejuvenate the
skin, eliminate waste, alleviate stress, enhance your mood,
restore vitality and facilitate the regeneration of new, healthy
cells. 3.Basic Body Scrub and Cleansing If you decided you only
have time for an indulgent, relaxing shower… start with a basic
body scrub and cleansing. I found this fabulous new product
called Spongeables (www.spongeables.com). It’s a soap and a
sponge all in one. It lasts for a full month of frothy fragrant
showering. My favorite fragrance is fresh lavender… and they
have them fragrance free too if that’s more your style. Whatever
sponge, cloth or brush you decide on… scrub mindfully and only
gently brush your skin. Gentle circular motions will increase
your circulation and eliminate toxins and excess water. Another
in home spa trick is to mix an ounce of ground sea salt with 10
or so drops of your favorite essential oil. Add water and make a
paste so it spreads easily. Apply it to your entire body and
slough off the dead skin with big circular strokes. This salt
scrub will exfoliate dead skin cells, cleanse the pores and help
your body get rid of any toxins. 4.Draw a bath. Add 5 to 10
drops of an essential oil to bath salts. Grab an extra pillow,
put a kitchen trash bag over it to keep it dry and then put a
pillow case over that. You just bought yourself 10 extra comfy
minutes in the bath tub. You might as well take a book too!
Follow it with a warm shower and a dry yourself off with a
fluffy cotton towel. If someone in the house really loves you…
get them to toss it in the dryer for 5 minutes and greet you
with fluffy warmth. If you have a body toning lotion handy,
apply to your body (not your face) for additional firming and
toning so you’ll look even better in that little black dress.
5.Be nice to yourself. These are your precious rejuvenating
moments. Take your time. Pamper yourself and try not to get
caught up in the have-to’s and the should-do’s. Don’t be in a
rush. Not only will you lose some of the benefits of this
quality time to refresh and relax, you may start sloughing off
and using rough, damaging strokes. 6.Hurrying has its risks.
Without slow, mindful, attentive movements, you could cause
inflammation and jeopardize that fresh, healthy, glowing
complexion that will make you a bright shining super star. You
can actually accelerate the aging process by being too rough!
Now there’s a good enough reason in and of itself to slow down.
7.Care for your hair. It is taking a beating in these winter
elements. Add ounce of lavender to sixteen ounces of shampoo.
Or for oily hair, add ounce of lemongrass or rosemary to 16
ounces of shampoo. Essential oils can make invigorating scalp
massages. Rosemary is awesome! If you decide not to use the
oils, make sure you at least give yourself a long, sudsy scalp
massage. Close your eyes, lay your head back and drift for a
moment. 8.Replenish lost moisture to your skin and hair this
winter by taking two tablespoons of organic flaxseed oil twice a
day. You’ll get rid of the itchies and combat wrinkles and
sagging skin. 9.Treat your fabulous face. All the treatments
above were just for your bod. Your face is special and delicate.
The skin on your face is thinner and more fragile than your
body. Treat your face with extreme care and gentleness. Even
though it’s cold avoid extremely hot water, harsh soaps or any
drying cleansers. Grab a new wash cloth or small sea sponge, add
a few drops of your favorite cleanser (preferably an
anti-oxidant, anti-inflammatory liquid cleanser) and then rinse
thoroughly with warm water. Apply face firming treatment then
put an ice cube inside of a small plastic bag and gently rub
over the face and eye area for several minutes to tone and plump
up the skin. 10.Rejuvenate from the inside Drink 8 to10
glasses of water every day. Eat lots of whole foods,
green vegetables, fresh fruits, grains, nuts and lean protein to
reduce inflammation, replenish moisture and bring back a
youthful glow. Take 3 full, deep breaths from your
abdomen (keep your shoulders still) to complete your simple
happy essential home spa experience. The benefits and joy you
experience during your at home spa day will be more colored by
your desire and your intentions than any fancy, expensive
products you can buy. Be mindful, set your intentions and
gradually transition in to or out of your work day… always
cherishing these simple, sacred rejuvenating moments.
May 14th, 2008
1. What types of foundations are available?
Creme foundations
Creme foundations are usually the top choice of most makeup
artists. Available in sticks and compacts, these provide very
good facial coverage. This consistency and texture deliver a
rich and perfect finish that can be applied easily resulting to
a fine complexion.
Liquid foundations
Offering sheer and complete facial coverage, it gives the face a
very natural appearance. Available in oil based and water based
formulations, this is preferred by most women since it can be
easily applied and matches the skin well, almost resembling the
skin itself. To get a foundation that will perfectly match your
complexion, make sure to select one that is based with the color
yellow.
Dual active powder foundation
These are so called quick fix foundations, that starts as cream
that is applied and spread over the face easily ending in a
powder form. Having this function, it is a powder and a
foundation all in one.
2. What foundation is best for my skin?
Facial foundation for normal skin
In the selection of a foundation for normal skin, there are a
lot of things to be considered, as there are so many lines of
cosmetic foundations available, and in various shades. Often,
their main difference is their price. The label will be your
best guide. Read the label and make sure it is for dry to normal
skin and that it is nonacnegenic so that it will not clog your
pores.
Facial foundation for acne prone or oily skin
For oily skin, the best foundation to use is water-based. These
usually come in liquid form, and they offer sheer and total
facial coverage, with the downside of lasting for only a maximum
of four hours. This problem can be very well addressed by using
a loose powder after application of the foundation to help the
foundation last longer as well as absorb excess oils. A product
labeled as oil controlling is great for oily skin. Again, choose
a product that is nonacnegenic, as this will ensure you of
unclogged pores and will not worsen your acne condition. For
oily skin type, find labels such as oil free or oil controlling
on a product - usually these products are water based.
Facial foundation for dry or sensitive skin
For dry or sensitive skin, cream based is often recommended, the
ones with with moisturizing benefits. As they provide full
coverage on the face, they too can stay longer. Keep in mind
that before any makeup is applied on the face, the face should
be cleaned thoroughly using a mild facial wash along with a
moisturizing cream; this also enables one to apply the
foundation easily as the moisturizer will help to smoothen the
foundation. For dry skin, a moisturizing foundation is best,
such labels as moisture rich or hydrating are to be looked for.
Foundation for combination skin
For combination skin, select a product labeled as skin
balancing, which would be perfect for this kind of skin type. If
you can’t find such a product, a combination of liquid
foundation and a powder in translucent form will help take off
the shine on your T-zone. For combination skin, you have to know
if you have skin more on the oily side, or the dry side and
select the appropriate formulation - foundations that are
cream-to-powder based are recommended for this type of skin.
3. Choosing your foundation:
- Know what type of skin you have. Before you shop for the right
foundation shade you need to determine first what formulation is
right for your skin; is your skin dry? Oily? Or a combination of
both? - Remember to go without any foundation on. Your face
should be clean so that you can easily test a shade on your face
and see clearly whether it matches your skin tone or not. - Pick
out three or four shades that you think match your skin tone.
They need to look as natural as possible. Usually, the yellowish
based shades will give all skin tones a natural look. For a very
light or fair skin, a pink shade of foundation will be best.
-Test the foundation by applying a small amount near your
jawline (not on your wrist!), then decide. - Study the shade of
your foundation as to the shade on your jawline. Examine it
carefully with a mirror in an open window, where there is
natural light. The shade to choose is the shade that you can not
see, as it blends well on your skin.
It is best that you buy a foundation in a small container first.
Once you’re home, try it out again. Return it if you feel the
shade isn’t right. Then if it is perfect for you, you can go
ahead and buy a bigger container.
April 14th, 2008